You Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone
by FaberryAchelefan16
Summary: Brittany wants more than what Santana offers, but what if she's willing to change for her. Femmslash. Brittana/Brachel.


"The way Brittany looks at me makes me want to take the blonde in a long embrace and tell her she's the only one, but ten I catch her looking at Rachel the same way and I remember how I screwed up and that Brittany wasn't mine anymore she was Berry's.

It started two months ago when Brittany told me she wanted to "have more than sex" with me. We'd be best friend who occasionally had se and up until that point I thought Brittany was okay with it.

"What do you mean?" I asked looking at her for the first time in almost two hours when we started watching the movie.

"I mean I want to hold your hand in public and I want you to only have sex with me." I felt my heart jump into my throat.

"You know I can't be exclusive, B. I like sex too much." Her face fell and I felt my stomach fall from my throat to my feet.  
"I was hoping you could be exclusive for me." She stood up and headed toward the door. "I'll see you at school." She said before I could ask where she was going. That was on a Saturday and I didn't see her for two days even though I tried to call and text, but she never answered. When I saw her that Monday at school she acted like nothing had happened so I acted the same and after cheerleading practice I tried to kiss her like we normally did, but she stopped me with her hand on my lips.

"If you're not willing to be with just me then I'm not going to sleep with you anymore."

"Why are you saying this?" I asked not knowing why my throat suddenly felt dry or why my heart hurt.

"I want what Spencer and Ashley have after Paula accepted them." I looked at her surprised.

"Ashley cheated on Spencer." I pointed out and she thought for a few minutes.

"Okay I want what Angel and Buffy have."

"Brit, they didn't end up together and he was a vampire so they couldn't have sex anyways." Brittany started to pace in the locker room.

"I just mean that I want to have something more than sex. I want a relationship from the TV." I stayed quiet as I watched her walk from one side of the lockers to the other.

"What you want is a fairy tale, Brittany." She looked at me with a determined look in her eyes.

"I want a girlfriend who treats me better than you." Before I could retort she walked out. I couldn't get her words out of my head and tried desperately to call so we could talk, but she never answered. It got worse as the days went by because she started to ignore me when we were at school. I felt guilty every time I'd see her trying to smile, but not letting it reach her eyes or when she would be sitting by herself. Along with the guilt I started to feel lonely without her by my side. We'd been inseparable since third grade when she moved her from Columbus and I didn't realize how much I depended on her until she wasn't there. Finally after almost two weeks of not talking I was able to corner her after cheerleading practice.

"I know you're mad at me, but can't we at least be friends?" I asked feeling like my whole life depended on her answer.

"I'm not mad at you, S." I smiled, but then she continued, "That's not why I've been avoiding you." I looked at her feeling tears start to spring to my eyes.

"I love you and you broke my heart. I just can't be around you right now." She looked at me and I stopped trying to control my tears. "Maybe we can be friends later, but not right now." She walked out and I felt my legs give out. Luckily, I was alone so no one heard me sob uncontrollably. When I was able to get control over my emotions I walked down the empty hallways toward my car sitting lonely in the parking lot. I spent the weekend trying to think of anything, but Brittany. I didn't succeed and instead thought of why she'd left me feeling hollow. I called Puck, but sleeping with him didn't help because his hands on my body were nothing compared to the soft touches of Brittany.

Monday came before I wanted it to and I ended up sluffing everything except Glee knowing I'd be yelled at if I did. I walked in early and sat in the back to watch everyone else arrive. I thought Rachel would be the first to come in, but saw Mercedes, Tina, Kurt and Artie first and they were followed by Quinn, Finn, Puck, Matt and Mike. Puck came and sat on my right and Quinn gave me a sympathetic look as she sat on my left.

"Did Brittany talk to you?' I asked quietly.

"She found me this morning and explained everything when you didn't show up to class."

"Oh." I said not entirely surprised.

"She told me something else that I'm not sure I should tell you, but you'll find out soon." Quinn added sounding nervous.

"What'd she say?" I asked bracing myself for the worst.

"She's dating someone. They got together this weekend."

"Who's she dating?" Just as the words had left my mouth I saw Brittany walking in holding Rachel's hand.

"She's dating Berry?" I asked appalled.

"Rachel's good to her and I think they really like each other." I looked at Quinn and gave her the dirtiest look I could and she blushed.

"Sorry, but it's not my fault you screwed up."

"You're pushing it, Q and I'm not above hitting a pregnant person." That shut her up and shortly after Brittany and Rachel sat down on the front row Mr. Shuester walking in to start Glee. That first day in Glee was the hardest day of my life and every day since then I've watched her being happy with Rachel. I've tried moving on, but through the last month all I've been able to think is that Brittany was the best thing that ever happened to me and I screwed it up." Santana let out a sigh as she finished explaining everything to a fellow Cheerio named Carol who'd noticed she'd been depressed. "Thanks for listening." Santana said standing up and heading to the locker room door.

"Do you want my advice?" the older girl asked from the bench where she was still sitting.

"Sure." Santana said turning around. Carol stood and walked over so she was face to face with the Latina.

"If you care enough about Brittany to be exclusive with her and treat her the same way Rachel has been than tell her and do what you have to and if you can't then let her be happy with "Berry" because Brittany deserves happiness." Santana was left standing with her jaw slightly open as her friend walked past her and out the door. Santana spent the rest of the day thinking about what Carol had said and decided that she wanted Brittany to be her girlfriend and that she truly loved her. Once she realized she loved her she thought of what she'd say to her to make Brittany see she'd changed. The next day after school Santana waited for Brittany to walk out of her last class by herself.

"Hi, Santana." Brittany said looking Santana for a second before walking away toward her locker.

"Can we talk for a second?" Santana asked following after the blonde. Brittany stopped and turned to look into Santana's eyes making Santana feel a vulnerability that only Brittany could cause.

"I'm happy with Rachel." She replied simply and with one sentence Santana's stomach flip flopped. Santana tried to talk, but no words came out until Brittany turned and started to walk ahead.

"I was wrong." She finally yelled and Brittany stopped in her tracks so Santana kept talking. "I don't want to be with anyone else. I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss you in public and I want to spend every minute with you again." She stopped when her voice cracked. Brittany looked at the ground not knowing what to say. Santana stepped closer to Brittany and neither girl were paying attention to the people around them.

"I love you, Brittany and I want you to know that if you think you'll be happier with Rachel stay with her, but if you think you'll be happier with me I'll treat you better than I have. I'll treat you right." Brittany kept her head down and Santana felt nausea hit her and her heart beating so hard she thought it might jump out of her chest. Santana looked around her for the first time and saw the halls were almost empty.

"I'll leave you alone now." She started to walk past Brittany but was stopped by a soft hand on her wrist.

"I'm gonna have to talk to Rachel, but I have a feeling she won't mind. She had her eyes on someone else." Santana felt her insides do a somersault as Brittany's blue eyes hit her own. She turned around and in one fluid motion their lips collided and Santana knew that no matter what she would spend every day for the rest of her life proving to the blonde that she loved her because she couldn't stand losing her again.


End file.
